My kids have decided to form a rock band. Mind you, none of them are yet proficient enough on an instrument to "play out" as it were, but there you have it! At age 13, 11, 9 and a precocious 4-and-a-half, they are adorable, enthusiastic and totally into it. Who am I to squelch their realities on the matter?

Sadly, I know a girl who became enamored by dance when she was quite young. Her practical parents insisted that their daughter did not have the requisite body type to be successful at it and in so many words, they told her so.

"You don't have the right body type for ballet," they said (she told me they did). I imagine they were oblivious to teh way her usually cheerful expression fell into a frown as she gazed at the people she loves most in the world. Her parents (I know them both) are very intelligent and sensible but also bereft of any idealism that makes up the stuff of artistic dreams. they would like for both of their two children to be business-oriented like they are, and they probably will be. I'm sure they felt that they were doing the right thing in keeping their daughter in "reality" on the subject of dance, and they DID allow her to take ballet lessons when she was 5 and 6 -- to them, a perfectly acceptable form of activity for young girls. But when she began to become more serious about it, they told her it was unrealistic.

I can't help but compare this "realistic" approach to the way my parents managed the desired activities of their own five children. It seems we tried everything and they never tried to discourage us. Not one of us ever heard the words "You don't," or "You shouldn't," and now, with four children of my own, I can understand why.

At 11, my son, Noah, loves to play guitar, but if I push or criticize him, he stops. Finding something you love to do is actually that fragile. At 9, my son, Tucker, chose to be the drummer in the band but as soon as someone told him he wasn't very good at it, he threatened to quit. At 4-and-a-half, Thomas is game for anything as long as he is included and singing is his gift, even if it's at the top of his lungs. Their sister, 13-year-old Alex, is the proud manager of the group and the lead songwriter, too. They are all dabbling in creating their "look," and they are all having a ball. It's the stuff childhood dreams are made of. Will it ever pan out? I suppose it's not likely if you look at the statistics, but who am I to say so?

I'm their mom. I know what my role is here. I'm the one who says, "Oh, I love it!" or "Wow, that's great!" But don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about praising with untruthful, empty phrases. I'm talking about letting them know that at this stage in their lives every possibility is there. Every doorway leads to another and not one window is sealed shut. There are paths to take that will lead them to new ones. My job is to keep them fed, well-rested and secure. I want my kids to know that if it's easy for me to believe in them, then it will be easy for them to believe in themselves. They will find out one day what is and what is not meant to be. They will not hear that from me. My job is to say, "Yes."