I can distinctly remember being a little girl who was afraid of a tiger hiding behind the shower curtain in my family's bathroom. I knew he was there. If I absolutely had to go in there -- and you know, sometimes you absolutely have to -- I would first slide my hand over the door to get my fingers on the lightswitch before I put my feet in. I knew I had to clear the air. Heart pounding and eyes wide, I would tiptoe oh-so-carefully on the baby blue tiles and, before staying another second longer, slap back the shower curtain with a whoosh to meet my fate. No tiger in sight brought great relief but no matter, I still believed in that tiger and ... next time.

When you're little, say around 4 or a young 5, fears can be very, very real. As parents, we spend so much time trying to lessen the fears of our little ones and then what happens? Just in time to spook us all, Halloween comes along bringing with it a yearly dose of gory images and new-spun jitters. Older kids love it and little ones do too, but beyond the everyday worries a young child can have (even things as simple as "I'm hungry!" can cause dismay) Halloween can just build on fear.

My 4-year-old Thomas has been going through a phase of fearfulness. Normally rough and tough (following the suit of his older brothers), every so often he starts talking about monsters in the house or his favorite -- a nightmare of a witch he used to have who still rears her ugly head in his imagination. That would probably be all thanks to me. Let me explain.

Last year, like I always do, I dressed up a bit for trick-or-treating. I never go full tilt like you might if you're heading to a costume party, but I like to get into the spirit of things, so I keep a ready stash of costumes, wigs, funny teeth and hats. Last year I was a witch. Nevermind that I looked great in my long, black wig and witch's hat, I scared Thomas. The kicker is, I didn't know he was scared. He looked at me like he didn't know me, but soon got caught up in running through our neighborhood in his green Power Ranger outfit. That night, he fell into bed, exhausted, after pawing through his mile-high pile of candy with me, so it was the next morning that he told me his thoughts. He regarded me suspiciously.

"Never be a witch again, Mom," he said, peering over his cereal spoon at me, sitting across the table.

"Oh, really?" I asked, surprised.

"No, never," he said with a commanding tone.

He had his first witch dream not long after that. I tried to talk him through it, saying things like, "We don't have witches here." Or, "Mom and Dad don't allow any monsters in our house."

But I HAD been a witch. There HAD been a witch in our house.

Somewhere, way back when, I was small like Thomas and my fear of a tiger in the shower had been very real. I could almost hear that tiger roar in my ears. So, remembering, I know that it's not enough to just expect your child to listen to reason. You have to be patient and steadfast in reassuring and soothing the frayed edges of an imagination in over-drive. Don't belittle it and don't ignore it.

With three older children, I sometimes forget that the littlest among us need extra care and tenderness when it comes to childhood fears -- especially around Halloween.

Suffice it to say that fear IS real even if tigers in the shower or nightmares are not. Fear is a feeling, but tigers DO roar, after all.